Arlian

Africa

2011-07-15T05:23:00.000-07:00

Can't believe it's already been 2 weeks since I got to England. Time flies like mad! That and we've been keeping ourselves occupied. Went to see Transformers 3. Aaron's sister got us tickets to the biggest screen in London, the IMAX experience. It actually felt like 3D. It was amazing how much I enjoyed it, cause usually the 3D movie's I've seen aren't that great.

Tomorrow we are going to one of Aaron's friends birthdays. I never do well in social situations so I'm a bit scared, cause once again, I won't know anyone. Hope it won't be too bad.

And finally, we are going to Kenya - Mombasa on monday! Can't wait.

Wish me luck!

Thesis?

2011-05-11T10:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the sophisticated type to actually write a thesis, defend it and then graduate. I keep thinking that I don't actually want a degree. Just many skills in the things I like. Is it asking for too much? Doing what I want with my life?

I guess I'm just scared. I loved defending my high school last art piece to all my teachers even if I was nervous as f***. But defending a high level thesis at the end of my third year does not sound like me. I know people keep telling me 'oh degree this, degree that' and a part of me wants to prove that I can do it. But a bigger part doesn't want to do it just cause I don't want to. Plus nowadays a bachelors degree is nothing and I don't feel that tempted to go for my masters.

When I was defending my art piece I felt like I created something beautiful and meaningful for me. It was something I put my heart into. But a thesis is just something I 'have' to do to graduate. So much text and graphs, it's all too technical. But that's what I should expect from IT, right?

I don't know what to think. I like 50% of the subjects. Php(tho I'm not that good at it, but I intend to improve), html, css, the graphics subjects like Computer graphics, Digital Media, Photography basics, Multimedia - they were all super awesome for me. And I want to continue with them. I want to have another go at photography cause I had so much fun with it. I just wish I had the means to try new stuff out. I want to do more with photoshop and I wouldn't mind trying Flash again. But I'd always feel guilty if I'd had to study for another theory subject at uni and I'm off doing the fun stuff for me.

So what is the thing I should try to please. Make people proud of me and then pursue my own dream? But what if it's too late then. Or just go at it right from the start? Which could mean not a great future cause I don't have the degree to put on my CV?

Drafts

2011-03-21T18:01:00.001-07:00

I've started 3 drafts, one every few weeks and never got to posting them cause I didn't have the time to finish em. But I'll try to sum up what's been going on.

I've been relearning Java and I think I just don't have the brain for it. I can do simple codes and mostly by copy pasting and just adjusting that.

I haven't been feeling really great about myself again for a few weeks. Sure I've studied so I should feel in some way accomplished but I don't. I want to be more but I don't have the belief in myself to pursue the things I want. And sometimes I hate having my future in a fog I can't see through.

Sometimes I wish I could change the way I think when it comes to relationships.

I feel like a little kid. Inexperienced and not knowing what to want out of life scares me. Or well, I can dream of what I'd like but dreams go to the distance of unrealistic. One thing I do know though - I want to be happy. But then again, who doesn't.

2010-12-05T06:43:00.000-08:00

You think I'm pretty
without any make-up on
You think I'm funny
when I tell the punch line wrong
I know you get me
so I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck
but things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
no regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
feel like
I'm living a teenage dream
they way you turn me on
I can't sleep
let's runaway
and don't ever look back
don't ever look back

My heart stops
when you look at me
just one touch
now baby I believe
this is real
so take a chance
and don't ever look back
don't ever look back

we drove to Cali
and got drunk on the beach
got a motel and
built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

I might get your heart racing
in my skin-tight jeans
be your teenage dream tonight

If it's love, it's meant to be.

It's hard, but I know it's worth the time and wait.

Less than 2 weeks to go until I go to england for christmas and new years. I can't wait. I need to get all my studying done in the next few days tho. Or well, more like today and tomorrow. Cause I know once Cata comes out I want to level :( It's sad, but at least I admit it! So I'll probably be busy for a while. With studies and leveling ^^ Tho yeah, I still know I need to priorities my studies. I've done quite a bit with the last few weeks tbh, so I feel kind of good about myself.

Thursday I'm going to that hairdresser I mentioned in my previous post. I hope it'll turn out alright.

part 1

2010-11-22T00:15:00.000-08:00

Went out with people on friday and after that me, Meka and V went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows(part 1). The first impression of the movie was "it was crap and empty". But when I took my time and thought the whole movie through I started to like it more. Cause the movie did have loads of bits that made me laugh and some bits that made me jump out of my skin. And I admire movies that can get that out of me. But still... compared to the book, the movie seemed empty.

Saturday I bought the pretty shoes! Woo~ Otherwise, this weekend was slack and got to pvp it up in wow with Aaron and later with Jeffrey as well. It was fun. And this week I'll be studying even harder than I did last week. I really need to get stuff done so I wouldn't feel bad slacking on wow and so I would have very little to do when I'm in england next month. Am hoping I'll only have to study for exams when I'm down there.

Where's the snow?

2010-11-12T06:42:00.000-08:00

I'm going backwards through time at the speed of light

I'm yours, you're mine

two satellites not alone

no, we're not alone

A freeze-frame of your eye in the strobelight

sweat dripping down from your brow

hold tight, don't let go

don't you let me go

And I never was smart with love

I let the bad ones in and the good ones go

but I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before

I'm gonna love you like I'm indestructible

Your love is ultra magnetic and it's taking over

this is hardcore

and I'm indestructible

Hands up in the air like we don't care

we're shooting deep into space

and the lasers split the dark

cut right through the dark

It's just us we ignore the crowd dancing

fall to the floor

beats in my heart

put your hands on my heart

Sometimes things are different than you imagined. I admit I've been kinda blind when being with some people. And I've thought them to be better than they seem, apparently. Though, I guess people can say what they want and I just need to hold my head high and not care. It's sad when the person was someone you thought was kinda close to you though. But nonetheless I'm gonna get over it!

I've been trying to build up some confidence. I just can't find anything to concentrate on and actually bring myself to believe in myself I guess. But I'm slowly, step by step getting there. I've been fiddling around with photoshop and trying to learn it so my skills wouldn't be so one-sided.

A huge part of me also wants to get behind a camera and take photos. I think I've found another passion for myself and I've been playing around with the small cheap camera we have, but it's very limited. So If I ever do get a job, that's where my first paycheck is gonna go.

Going to England for Christmas! And meeting Aaron's family. And we all know asian families are huge. And since I'm from Estonia(Russia) they'll probably be curious about everything. So I hope I can work my shyness and use talking about how things are here to my advantage.

I'm also going to go see a hairdresser. For the first time... in my life. So far I've cut my own hair. I think it was some mentality like 'if I screw up, there's only me to blame'. Now, I'm trusting my hair to another person. That's a big thing for girls! Or it should be!

Today, me and Elise went to browse some shops in town. I found an adorable dress but sadly, they didn't have my size so I'm gonna try my luck in a different shop to see if they have my size. And Elise pointed out some 'adorable' shoes. I'm gonna go ahead and be girly here - they were BEAUTIFUL *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*. It's not very often I find shoes I really really like.

And yes, I will keep on trying to post more!

The New Beginning - Going Solo

2010-10-11T05:56:00.000-07:00

Over the few months I've had the idea of blogging only a few times but never got to it.

It actually disturbs me how some people get their own ideas on stuff they know nothing about. Or it's just their paranoia driving them in the wrong direction. Looking back though, I think I've done that too. So far I've thought that my past just doesn't want to let go of me. But I think it has. Just like I've let go of it. We all need to turn to the new paragraph when the old one has finished.

My brother celebrated his birthday in August and it was fun. I got to see many of my good friends and we had a blast!

Lectures started again in september. This semester I thought of taking less programing and went for Theory of Management and Advertising theory. \o/ I still have XML applications though. But it doesn't seem that difficult and mindfucking.

November had many parties.. My brother hosted them. Since he left for the army today he wanted his last few weeks to be full of fun and parties with his dear friends. That of course ended with a huge mess in our apartment(since our parents left for a month we could).

Now that my brother left I have the apartment to myself for a few days. Fun times! Also the few weeks after wednesday should be eventful for me. Was invited to a party on the weekend and a sushi-night is also planned. Then of course there's Scott Pilgrim and Step Up to watch! Wonder if it's any good in 3D. But I imagined I won't find many people who would be up for watching it with me.

2010-07-31T03:47:00.000-07:00

Just something I was linked.

Ice cream plx~

2010-07-22T16:57:00.000-07:00

Got together with Shin on the 21st. Since I wanted to get out of the house. We got together and discussed our trip and emotions and relationships like typical girls! We sat in the park(the day was hoooooot). so at about half past 4 we thought we should get more ice cream and something to drink. And on out way to the shop we decided to go on a small shoppingtrip to Järve! So we just got a drink and got on the epicbusofshoppingtrip.

We spent a few hours browsing some clothes and shoes(yes, you heard me - shoes!). At some point Mirju joined us and then we decided to get that ice cream we didn't get before the shopping. We sat down at a small parkishlookinglot(it had grass, okay). And we discussed work and the trip(since Mirju hadn't heard most of the stories).

Soon, we all parted ways and I got home. And it was an ego boosting night for me! Ahenian's back on wow and I knew I'd help him gear up so we could raid together like once before.

So I got us to a ToC 25 where I recapped all the fights just a few seconds before the pull(he learns fast). I was busy explaining the tactics for the next boss and didn't notice what was going on in the raid so people were kinda furious with me in /raid. They even mentioned kicking me, but nice people backed me up saying how I was the top dps(mwaha).

Then we did a few heroics(he lacked a few emblems) and I noticed Hektelion was in a VoA so I asked if they had 2 spots. They did! There was quite a reunion tbh! Ryhara was there(from my previous guild) and we had fun catching up fast. When I got to the boss there was many corpses and I say "I notice you've been wiping" at the same time thinking, this was gonna take forever. A nice rogue explained tho, how all the corpses on the ground were there for fashion, nothing more. We oneshot the boss and the raid leader thanked Hek for bringing a lucky charm(mwaha).

So yeah, Ahenian got a total of 6 upgrades that night! And it was fun puging some raids again.

My brother was away 21-22 and when he got back he was angry with me and asked what I had done that day(22nd). I said I washed the dishes, watched a movie(Youth in Revolt - 'tis pretty good). I knew where he was going with it and I started "and yesterday I..." - and he cuts me off with an angry tone "TODAY, what did you do TODAY?". I just stare at him and he continues "you need to get out more." SIGH! Then I got angry and told him that I was out all day the day before. I hate it when people tell me what I should do. So I really ENJOY staying home. I mean, I was always on my feet for 2 weeks in england. I was outside and with friends.

And on a different subject. I know what I'm getting myself into and I believe it's going to work out.

I hate goodbyes

2010-07-17T16:53:00.000-07:00

The guild meet was awesome, as I already said. Spent my time from the 5th till the 10th with Ross and Tom. And we also met up with Shin and Meka(they left on the 7th). I introduced Tim, Shin and Meka to Aaron, Ross and Tom. Tom and Ross were with me till the 10th and then we all went our separate ways. Tom left for Holland, Ross was busy with work and I spent my last week with Aaron.
I was sad to leave on the 16th. And to make things worse, my flight departed 2 hours late! I wasn't in the greatest of moods when I got home.

On that trip, I decided to take a huge risk. And I'm more than sure it's worth it.

I've been talking about what love is to me. And I've found it's a feeling one can't describe with words. It can be seen by the way you look at a person. It's not the facial expression, but it's the eyes that give it away. The way you know it's love, is the butterflies in your stomach and with that you can feel the difference of what way you look at the person.

Today, I've been feeling a bit uneasy.

guild meeting 2010

2010-07-05T02:06:00.000-07:00

And I am in England \o/ I arrived in Stansted and Fayne, Lixen and Kong were supposed to pick me up. They ran a bit late thanks to traffic. Then we started our ROAAAADTRIP to Birmingham. And we got into another traffic jam YES! Personally I didn't really mind. I was still in disbelief that I was actually in England, haha!

The guildmeet was awesome! The first night we just went to a pub and broke the ice between everyone. The next day it was laser-quest -> dinner at a chinese restaurant(which was amazing!) -> karaoke.

Today Me, Amariel, Mara and Mash are going shopping and after that I'm heading to London with Mara to meet up with Jal and also Shin and Meka! Should be funfunfun.

Engerland

2010-07-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

My stuff's packed apart from the last moment things like toothbrush and other washing stuff. And I feel how my nerves are finally realizing that I'm going to England, tomorrow. HOW AWESOME IS THAT! *happyoverflow*

The last few days have basically been me packing stuff and thinking to myself how unreal it seems that I'm finally going on the long waited trip. Amariel and I both agree that the trip is gonna be awesome and more!

So my plane leaves @ 1225. And I'd have to be at the airport 2 hours earlier. But I'm gonna have to go there even earlier cause Indrek can't drop me off later(he has work). And since I kinda want my brother to take me to the airport I decided to go with it rather than finding someone else to take me. Thank you big brother :)

I'll be arriving in Stansted @ 1320. Fayne, Lixen and Kong will be meeting me there and we're gonna head to Birmingham together. Roaaaadtrip~

Ah, this is gonna be so cool. I can't wait!

~14 hours till my plane leaves x)

Also am at Gossip Girl season 3 episode 21. And I don't have the guts to watch the last episode of the season. So I've been keeping my mind occupied with Skins season 4(tho I'm running out of those episodes as well).

Blair & Chuck <3

Simplicity

2010-06-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

It's been well over a month! I really want to try making blogging a habit(I am going to try harder from now on - after all I did make this blog for myself). But somehow with the beginning of summer and finishing my first year at uni, I've been much too busy.

We celebrated St. Johns day at my summer home and I got positive feedback from the party :) Still wondering if people might consider that place for some other awesome summer parties as well. My brother is having a birthday coming up in august and he wants to invite all of his friends and asked me to invite my friends(that he knows ofc) as well.

There's been some minor and some major drama in the Council I suppose. But nothing worth talking about. Seems like everything is going fine now.

Meka and Shin are in Belgium! Visiting Lassy. I've tried poking them on msn/skype whenever I notice them online. Only got a few words from Shin tho. Seemed like everything was going fine. Tomorrow, I am off to London, and on the 5th of July, I'm hopefully going to see them both and Lassy! Then I can also persuade Lassy to come to Estonia in august, for my brothers birthday(obviously that won't be the only reason ;P)! I will try and poke about of what I've been up to.

Been watching(marathoning) Gossip Girl and Skins(season 4) for the past week. I swear there is no better couple than Chuck and Blair. But why did they screw it uuuuup~ *cries*

Anyway, the past few weeks, wait I'm lying, the past few months, have been really awesome. And I've felt happiness again. In the way I would have not thought of to be completely honest. But who knows what the future holds. I'm hoping it will only go upwards from here.

So I've been wondering. Can someone miss someone, who he/she hasn't even met before?

I know the 'what is love' question is very typical. I have thought about it in my years. And I have thought I've been in love. Some time ago, a really close friend asked me if I've been in love. I said no, even though I once thought I was. But I guess looking back at everything one just discovers that it wasn't really love.

Love has to be simple.

Happy?

2010-05-21T01:24:00.000-07:00

Steleaf invited some ppl over for a bbq! I also promised to go to a bday that day so I couldn't stay long. But the grill was fun. Went to the birthday after and got home with the last bus. Didn't really want to stay for the whole night.

Saturday started with me getting a text inviting me to a chillax evening with a waterpipe and everything. I thought about it for a bit and decided not to go cause I had planned to stay at home and clean my room, go to the shop and make dinner. In other words just having a nice and relaxing day in. I suppose I had loads on my mind as well so I didn't think I'd be very social that day.

Had LoF(Life of faith - a friends own rules. Based on dnd though) on sunday and it was great fun. We got a mission to go to australia(that has been nuked - there shouldn't be no life on it whatsoever). And guess what we found! A mutant, mwaha. It ran off tho, but I wouldn't want to be fighting that after seeing a picture of the creature *whimper*

Is it possible to know if you truly love someone until the person is gone? I mean, love should be something that does not fade away. But many feelings just fade away, even hate. So basically love is as if a risk you take to be happy?

The hardest part is getting to the point where you are a 100% sure it's not gonna work out. The moving on part will always have the good and awesome memories. You'll always think about getting back together. I did. But now when I get that thought I remind myself why it didn't work out. I thought moving on would be the hardest part. But at the moment I feel like I'm over the hardest part. Maybe it's because this whole thing just took forever and I've already moved on? Tho when can a person say he/she has moved on. Is it when you don't think about your ex the same way? Or you're happy with the life you have?

I'm happy.

L o v e

2010-05-12T02:37:00.000-07:00

"Have you ever been in love?"
"What is love?"

That got me thinking, what is love? And have I ever felt it? I've only had 1 relationship. I like to think it was love. But I thought love would/should last forever and not disappear after someone fucks up because for love, you should be ready to forgive and do anything for.

So is love something that can just come and go? Relationships that break up, do they ever have love in it or is it just how the 2 people like each other. I'm just assuming that love isn't affection that would include how you like the way the other person thinks, how you like the fact that they can make you laugh or other many small details. Feelings like that can fade away. People grow apart. Or doesn't love have a strong meaning? Because a lot of people use the word lightly. You can love a friend, family, your hobby. But when it comes to a romantic way towards a person, people tend to think it's a really big deal to say.

To be honest, I feel the same way. I wouldn't go saying how I love a person lightly. But saying it about a friend really dear to me is easy.

Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true.

I think love is something you can't choose to do. It just has to happen. It doesn't have to be love at first sight, oh no. Though I do believe it's possible. Just don't go around mentioning to the person immediately. They 'will' freak out. Unless they're someone easy.

I also think love is something you don't have to work at much. Though one needs to put effort in a relationship.

I think I'm gonna try and figure out what love is for me. Because I believe every person sees it differently.

About that...

2010-05-09T04:27:00.000-07:00

The date of me going to England is getting closer! I can't wait.

I'd be arriving in Stansted on the second of July. Because getting straight to Birmingham would have been a huge hassle and not worth the cost(even though we thought it would have been cheaper). Will be staying with Bergor when I'm at Birmingham and after that a bunch of us are heading to the Isle of Wight to chillax with Vanthus, Ed and maybe Alex, yeaaah! Am not sure how the living arrangements are there. But I'd hope to be sticking with the place where most people(and Amariel) will be at. And also we are not sure for how long we'll be staying on the Isle. But since Meka and Shin(if she comes, which I'll try and make sure of) are leaving England on the 10th I'd like to have a nice night out with them in London as well. And the rest of the trip should be in London with me, Amariel, Mash and Marauth. And Lixen will be joining us on our stay! SIGHTSEEING WOO! And a theeeme park!

Yeah, I have a good feeling about the trip :)

On other news, I've been so lazy with uni. I feel so bad about that. And I have to make a cake for mothers day today. I need to learn to plan my time right now. Exams coming up and what not.

Had a tryout day at a sushi bar called Sushi Cat(I know, right!). To be honest, I'm kinda confident on getting the spot there. Meka, take cover! Getting a job would mean I'd have to arrange my time even better now. Can't slack on WoW as much. But I do have a goal so I guess it'll be worth it.

But yeah, I've been enjoying quite a bit of the company of my friends lately. But sometimes I just wanna stay home and relax. Yesterday was one of those days. My parents went to our summer home for the night. My brother went later and didn't stay the night. Some of my friends did get together in town, but I didn't feel like joining for 2 reasons. First one I'd rather not say. And the second one was that I really did want a quiet and a nice evening alone at home.

I've felt like my life is getting out of line and off track. I'm not keeping up with stuff at uni, relationship's a mess and my thoughts get worried of the most smallest thing. But at the same time I'm kind of happy with my life. I sometimes get the feeling it's cause of the friends I've actually made online. I know this sounds so bad. I mean, I'm really happy with my friends I have in Tallinn. The time we spend together is amazing and a lot more! I really couldn't imagine my life without Meka or Shin in it.

So, me and Marauth just talked on msn about how people are too concerned of outcomes of their choices. How some people get all qq about if they're out with friends and they haven't planned out beforehand where they were gonna eat. And later they'd find an awesome restaurant that they would have found in a million years if they had tried to look one before heading out. It's the same for me and my friends sometimes. I call people up and they refuse to come out before I tell them what we were doing exactly. Even tho I'd find it more fun to just go with the flow and see where we end up.

Like a drug

2010-04-21T10:39:00.000-07:00

Hmm, really should start working towards getting a lot of stuff done for uni. Been slacking and postponing a 'lot'. There's just 2 subjects I'm worried about, really. It's disco maths and Algorithms and data structures. Everything else should go fine. Though I haven't really heard from the Psychology exam. My brother told me how he failed that exam twice *gulp*.

Also I can't wait to go to England already! Shin and Meka will be going a week early to Brussel. And will meet them in London 2/3 of July. *squeals like a little girl*.

I've felt a bit weird lately. I've just said no to so many invites to get togethers with my friends. Cause I just feel like being alone and without company. Guess it's just something I'm gonna have to work on.

__________
I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

Oh girl lets take it slow
So as for you,
Well you know where to go
I want to take my love
And hate you till the end

It's not like you turn away
From all the bullshit I can't take
It's not like me to walk away

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me
__________

Penguin

"Janne"

2010-04-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

So I read Elises last blog post and I researched my own name in Urban Dictionary.

A german name for a irresistibly mysterious girl whom you see around often, yet know nothing about. Usually a real cool girls name. It`s easy to talk to her for hours...you just forget about time.

People find her very attractive. She has got a great and special style and sense of humor. She's amazing in many ways and probably knows a load of people.

She enjoyes (night)life, looooves to travel and meet new people. Normaly she is awake at night. You could watch her dancing on a table or a counter then ;)

(dno about the last one >_>)

The best woman alive.
My sometimes boyfriend when conveniant.
She is an amazing dancer with all the best moves on the dance floor.
She is brilliant as she is in Math Higher Level.
She is beautiful, and she has an amazing way of making people smile!
Although she is extremely tall, she is very fit and great at basketball!!!!
She likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

And I've never considered myself tall nor good at basketball :o

I didn't even think there 'would' be a meaning to my name in there.

Brussel!?

2010-04-12T15:56:00.000-07:00

I love music. It can calm a person down or make him/her energetic as hell! Can make you sad or happy and make a person feel sexy.

The trip to England seems so real now. I don't have the tickets yet, but I'm gonna get them soon. Then it's gonna be official! Shin and Meka told me they were gonna go through Brussel. And head to England after that. So I'm gonna time my trip to England so that I could spend time with them as well. *happy* Meka also poked me to get on Helkpo vent, and we talked the trip through. I decided I was not gonna go with them through Brussel, even tho they would have wanted me to go(I think :P).

I've had loads of fun the past week with my guildies. We had a go at LK 25!

I also played some HoN today. It was my second/third time ever! *giggle* but yea, some people can make it a bad experience. But I suppose I wouldn't mind playing again if I'd have friends around me while doing it.

Blossoming Orchid

2010-03-30T10:54:00.000-07:00

Saturday at Myffus was awesome! We played guitar hero and me and Shin made a career. WE MADE IT TO JAPAN(and that was good enough). It made me think that having guitar hero just for the career mode would be nice.

My Rune-Keeper in LotRo is level 21 which I'm leveling with my brother(soon with both of my brothers). My rogue in DDO is level 8(ihihi, noob) and I'm having loads of fun leveling her with the council members!
And WoW is just awesome, still! Especially after Shin and Meka came back <3

I still have a few things to do for uni, and I have so many good ideas I want to get around to fulfilling. I should seriously take some time off gaming just to get to that.

England seems like a trip that might happen this summer. Meka and Shin are planning it as well! So we're gonna have some funtimes.

My brother got me a gorgeous orchid for my bday. I'm usually not a big fan of flowers. But I'm kinda fond of this one. It seems so glamorous and elegant. So I'm gonna try and take good care of it(tho I read you must not overtakecare of it). But yeh, I like watching it on my desk.
Which reminds me, I also need to get around to cleaning my room. Maybe I should for a 'no gaming wednesday(tomorrow)' day. Hmm... If I'm not too tired after school I think I'm gonna do it!

~Such a sweetheart <3

MMO madness!

2010-03-23T04:31:00.000-07:00

So I have an independent study week(or whatever you call that). And me and my 2 brothers got talking about games. They talked about their LotRo(Lord of the rings online) experience and I talked about my WoW experience and all the lols and giggles. Anyway, since I have a week of no lectures they bought me lotro. This is gonna be tough! I wanna raid with my wow friends and do other random stuff with them. I also want to try out lotro with my brothers. And I also want to play ddo(dungeons and dragons online) with the council D:

I also can't wait for KotOR(Knights of the old republic) online to come out.

But clearly 3 mmo's is too much. Sigh. I also wanted to get around to do that webpage I've been thinking about. We also have some nice comic sketches thought up! And some other nice ideas on what to put up on the site. Should remind the council that they should think/make some comics as well and we can get this project running! I mean, when V talked about it, seemed like people were interested.

Since I formated my mac(I hope I backed everything important up) I need to reinstall some things before being able to get to work. I also had loads of fun configuring Adium! I have Wall-e and Charlie the unicorn sounds on it now. And also Link emoticons(hihi)! I'm also working on a 'perfect' playlist. All time favorites and such.

The other day one of my guildies sang Muse - Feeling good on vent. He was SO good at it and since then I've been addicted to that song. Well, it brought me back to listening Muse overall.

Right, I'm off to do something useful before getting sucked into an mmo today.

Nostalgia what?

2010-03-17T03:06:00.000-07:00

"So guys, remember the time Myffu did an awesome backflip?"

Myffu suggested we go sledging together. On a steep steep steep hill. I will admit, it was scary until you got to the bottom of the hill. But then you had to worry about a face full of snow and trying to get up again(not cool!). Actually it was very fun. Though our adventure ended with Myffu going for the death jump on the hill. Now 'that' was scary D:

After that we went to eat pancakes and we had to go to Myffus place to play some xbox and watch Ghost in The Shell. I wanted to go home for a moment and change my wet clothes(wet from the snow - honest). When everyone else went for the shop and I wanted to check the time to see when the bus was gonna come, I noticed I had lost my phone. Sigh. I got home and called the cafe we had been at and they hadn't found anything. So I probably just lost my phone when we were all having fun sledging :(

The next day when I told my parents I was ready to use my aaaaancient phone with worn out numbers and such. All I needed was a card. In the evening when my parents got home, they had bought me a new phone. A sony ericsson. Not my first choice but I'm still happy.

Okay, I got carried away with describing some events with careful detail

I had some nostalgic flashback yesterday of my summer camps. I thought of having a nap during the day cause I had woken up at 6 am just to go to one lecture. So I was back home at about 10 am. We used to have nap time in our camp(not even compulsory - but since we had 8 hours of dancing a day, we needed it) and every time we had some relaxing music playing. So I thought I'd look up the songs. And I even had a few on my iPod, but I wanna find out most of the list and just get the tracks.

Fast forward!

2010-02-26T05:06:00.000-08:00

It's been well over a month! But I decided to be more active with noting down my doings.

So let's see, where to start. I'll just do a fast recap of what I did this morning. I refreshed my blog! I used the old blogspot skin and just edited it to my taste. I like it simple *shrug*. The thing I dislike about it is the blogspot bar at the top. But I haven't been so keen on figuring out where it is in the code. Am not that good at writing/deciphering code yet anyway :x

I also rediscovered my Sweeney Todd ost on my playlist so I'm listening to it as I blog!

Lectures started on the first of February and I've already had my first small test at Discrete maths. I think I did quite nice. At least I feel I didn't fail epicly! But yeah, waking up at 0630-0700 is not awesome but I like it cause then I don't feel I've wasted a whole day. Friday is also a lecturefree day, yay! But the first half of the semester is almost over. Only a few weeks to go. Woah! I just realised that. That would mean that I already have to do some stuff for algorithms and data structures. Yaikes. I suck at C! D: Even if I have been to all the lectures.

Lectures also meant that for a while I didn't have much time for wow. I also got an awesome new tabletop pc so I've been playing different games(Dragon age, TF2 <3, DDO mostly). That and the fact that all my friends started playing Dungeons and Dragons online! God I love that game but it also makes me want to play dnd (pnp style) so bad.

Not playing that much wow got me to miss it. So I've been active there again for a the past few days. And it's really fun again. I had missed the people :> Shin also said she might be coming back when she has time and money. So the Council channel might get some activity as well! Cause with her, I bet Meka will be coming back too n_n She said she missed her paladin.

I also went through some old wow screenshots. Some of them are pretty fun. I'll see if I can find something decent to publish later today or tomorrow :P

Me and my brother decided that we should try and make a website. We have a pc that noone really uses and we can put up our own server. He wants to put his game he made up there and I would just get real practice out of it. I'm also thinking of doing a really easy addon for wow. It's a pointless one but I would just like the experience. x)

Mistake?

2010-01-12T16:20:00.000-08:00

It seems like I just don't know what I want. Because every choice I make seems to be a bad one.

I know it's been ages, but I miss what we had.

No going back

2010-01-11T17:45:00.000-08:00

Today I started thinking about why I've done some things. But it was only after realising that the things I've done cannot be undone(or well - fixed). I've always been cautious so that I could go back to normal later, but after recent news, that's not a possibility. I cried again - wonder if that's why my head hurts in a weird way.

Still, I'm gonna face life with my head held high and full of hope and belief. Like I had yesterday. But something changed for me today - I need someone to support me because after today... I don't feel like myself anymore. It's like losing a piece of yourself forever.

2010

2010-01-01T04:29:00.000-08:00

The last day of 2009 was fun. We all went to V's place(or well most of us) and we made a cookiecake that was initially planned for Max's birthday but since he bailed we made one to celebrate the last day of the year.

Otherwise it was a typical christmas. We shared presents and got drunk. Myffu was the one who made me a present and it was a World of Warcraft action figure o.o It was way too expensive D: But I really loved the gift. Thank you <3.

Then we played this weird new alias and after that we went to the small pond near V's home to look at the fireworks at 00:00. The view was really nice there - you could see a lot. Aarne and Kaarel were there too so got to wish them a happy new year too. Hadn't seen them for a while!

We got back and Ago set up the hookah. We had some really nice conversations and asked random/silly questions the 8-ball could answer. We had 4 people squished on the sofa trying to sleep. It was haaaard ;_; Only got a few hours of sleep and then decided to go home.

I thought I was prepared to face what was waiting for me, cause I knew some relatives came over. But when I stepped in the room... It was horrible o.o made up beds everywhere, literally. There was a family with 3 kids and a family with 2 kids, my parents, my brother and his friend, my aunt and my grandmother here, in this SMALL apartment. Lucky I got to walk over those sleeping bodies o.o

Was really scary and I can't have time to myself so I can't really tell what I feel about the new year yet. Am off for now...

Have a sexy new year everyone~

look at HP!

2009-12-29T12:08:00.000-08:00

Christmasy time

2009-12-26T15:58:00.000-08:00

Let there be snow~

It's been a while since I last wrote. But my last weeks of uni were keeping me busy. Finally got done with that and Christmas time was here. Had to run around shops with mum and help her choose presents and conveniently I fell ill on the 23rd. A day before christmas. Yay. Had a high temperature and I really wasn't moving from my bed. Had a feast on the 24th and I was feeling better by the evening. So I actually got out of bed. We had planned a dnd game for the 25th but I was feeling to ill to go(a really sore throat), still. But I was able to visit my grandparents(cause I knew I didn't have to participate much). It was only for a few hours anyway. Got home and played loads of Magic the gathering with my brother and Max. It was awesome!

So now I just have a runny nose and a tired feeling. Will be off to bed soon. After I finish with this entry. Though I 'might' go find something to eat before heading to bed.

I've been feeling kinda empty lately to be honest. I just can't find anything exciting to do and I have been away from my computer for quite a few days now, thanks to christmas. Being away from the internet didn't disturb me much though. T

he idea that I need to start studying for my maths exam and the php final test I have, isn't helping either. I'm so scared of the programming test ;_;

I miss something. Am not sure if it's cuddles or hugs or just a certain person. But I think it's something along those lines. Wonder if that has something to do with the emptiness inside me. I have no idea what to do about it or what it's even about. Maybe a good night sleep is all I need.

Sleepless nights

2009-12-09T02:16:00.000-08:00

for students. The semester is ending and of course all the major tests are during the last week! Everyone should celebrate my JOY and HAPPINESS! *note the sarcasm* Anyway, since I was 'way' off my sleeping schedule I pulled an allnighter and got up with my programming homework. I was pretty decent at it as well! Tried figuring out stuff on my own and I actually managed!

Still need to:

- test on word, excel and power point on Monday.

- show the 2 home tasks to the teacher in programming(php stuff) and have a test on it next Tuesday.

-2 smaller home task in my database lecture + a major one I know nothing about. Also having a test on Wednesday(really worried about this one).

-2 home written tests in hardware(easy) and a test next Thursday(requires a bit of studying).

At least I'm hoping to go to bed early today. Even though ICC hits today. But all in good time. It's not like I wont have FOREVER to see what the new patch is about.

Enough about school and wow!

The Council is planning to throw an awesome new years party with gifts, games and a christmas spirit! Should be fun. We're gonna put our names in a hat and each draw a name from it. So it's gonna be a surprise who's making who a gift. I personally won't probably say who I'm making a gift for ;P But I already have ideas!

Left home at 0745 today to go to a lecture and it was still really dark outside. I loved it. It was also cold, but the good kind of cold. Not many people at the bus stop and seeing my cold breathe when breathing out. Made me feel relaxed. The music helped a lot of course.

Till next time~

Adios

Lala

2009-11-29T11:02:00.000-08:00

Cires: does anyone have any news about Teh(holy priest in the guild)

Tzep: I heard he got spell checked and ... 'died'~!

I've been up to nothing special and the last few days I've just watched movies. Though I can't think of any to watch anymore. I cba to dl and there's loads of movies I'd actually want to watch but aren't uploaded to the site I'm using.

And I'm off to Lars's birthday today. Have no idea what to get him. Sigh.

Have a raid tonight and I'm kinda looking forward to a farm raid(unless they make us do progress raids tonight).

Rainbows

2009-11-27T17:50:00.000-08:00

Me, Shin, Kadri and Meka went to see New Moon. I'm disappointed in the movie to be honest. I bet it has something to do with the fact that I've read the book. And movies are usually never that good(there are exceptions ofc). Twilight > New Moon. I also think that the thing that ruined the movie for me was when they first showed Edward walk in in slow motion. I couldn't take that movie seriously anymore xD Me and the girls were just laughing really hard. And making jokes at clichee parts. And the vampire family seemed different as well. Ofc Jacob getting naked over and over again was lame...

I didn't like Jacob in the book but in the movie I actually felt sorry for him. The movie made the whole thing so hars. I mean, Bella and Jacob are still good friends >_> And what do you mean you end the movie at a part like that. Argh.

But the Movie did have some nice bits and actually funny lines.

Got together with my coursemates after the movie and it was quite fun. Thought I don't get it why the people I'm interested in getting to know never show up. Wonder if the fact that they are mysterious for me draws me in.

Now for something completely different:

Did Naxx 10 with guildies. Went for Undying. Did all 4 quarters. And Shadowhound died at the last quarters last boss xD And he was making comments before how he's gonna kick the persons ass who fails. Ihihi. And then I got to spam how he fails. I think they think I was really mad :D

Before Thaddius

Me: k, counter clock wise then.

Drugsha: what's counter clock wise?

Zeth: It's going opposite to clock wise

Me: It's like going back in time

It's true.

Needs more sugar!

2009-11-21T15:10:00.000-08:00

Hadn't partied for a while. And I suppose mixing stuff isn't that good >_>

Anyway it was an awesome party and I got home with one of the first buses. I thought I wouldn't go to bed because I need to get my sleeping cycle straight but I still slept for a few hours and woke at 11.

Got together with Fox, Xin, Tom and Leevi. Went to St. Patrick and had a drink. Moved on to popular and got together with Tom's gf and her friend Marion. More drinking. Tallinn is SO small~

Marion's a girl studying the same thing as me in the same uni but is just in her third year :> I was happy I was able to get to know Marion a bit more. She's really pretty and somehow I felt the first time I saw her that we'd be alike. It's true. We have similar views on stuff and people. And Tom's gf is really pretty too! Where do they come up with these girls? :o

Popular was REALLY nice. We were there for quite a while and then finished off the night with levikas. Got to see Kadri <3 I've missed her n_n

Memories of the past

2009-11-10T08:11:00.000-08:00

I think it's completely normal for a person to feel sad. I haven't really felt anything deep for months to be honest. So having to think about something sad for a change feels nice and human. I'm actually trying to get emotions out of myself with listening to the music that reminds me of the sad events in my life. Is that masochistic? I mean, I don't cut myself or anything but I do feel as if my heart has a spear stabbed through it.

What's so bad about feeling sad at times. It's an emotion. And I actually feel healthy for feeling sad again. Or feeling anything for a change. The past months I've been quite superficial with my emotions. I've been happy, but not really happy. I've been sad, but not really sad.

Cause I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're goin down for sure
Already lost a grip
Best abandon ship

But I feel I can still control it. I don't go on about it to others. They have their own problems so I keep my mouth and mind shut of those topics when interacting with people. I'm used to getting by these things alone anyway. It's just the way I am I suppose.

2009-10-13T07:23:00.000-07:00

Did a quiz on facebook the other day. Those things are actually pretty fun when one has nothing else to do. This one was birthday related. And I dare say it's quite accurate. I think.

Frank and open in demeanor like that of a child you are often accused of having a superficial or naive view on life. You are constantly rediscovering the world around you and like to express your observations with others. You love spontaneity and liveliness but it is important to you that others regard you as mature and responsible. You often have a highly private personal life and like to have time to be alone. You can fall into spells of depression but prefer to work it out on your own rather then seek professional help. You have a strong belief system. You demand a lot of understanding from you personal relationships. In romantic relationships you need to freedom to be yourself without any restrictions. You like people down to earth and with a good sense of humor, the ability to put things into perspective and a life of his or her own. Strengths: frank – spontaneous – dynamic Weaknesses: Naive – Transgressive – over idealistic

I love the wind and snow but I hate the cold. I love the rain and I hate when my feet are wet.

2009-10-12T23:28:00.001-07:00

'Bergor will do the adds and Ali-G will do the girl'

right... haha.

So yesterday had some lectures, was boring. Raided again after a few weeks being busy with uni stuff. Today, again, lectures, boring and raid again tonight. I kind of missed raiding so I'm happy I can get my attendance up again!

Me: latency 1.6k D:
Mash: someone's dl'ing porn!
Me: uhuh..
*other random chat*
Mash: oh, a new 'how I met your mother' episode! And new DHW yesterday! Lots to watch!
Jeth: How about you watch something decent?
Mash: Yeah, Jeth, but your mom stopped making videos :(
Me: Omg 359 latecy!
Mash: Someone finished dl'in Jeth's mom's vid's! xD

Am at my web design lecture and the net was slow. Couldn't log on adium.. Now when the internet is really fast.. It still doesn't log on ;_;

also:

mm, Rilo Kiley <3

Jack

2009-10-10T08:27:00.000-07:00

Hm, I kinda miss raiding already. I think I haven't raided for 2 weeks now. I should be proud. And see! I'm not addicted! Don't know what to say really, this weekend could have been better I suppose. Needs more parties with the council! Or something.

***

Jack was nimble
Jack, he was quick
Jack jump right over the candle stick

Now he's gone and I'm burning
All alone
Yeah he's gone and I'm burning still, oh no

A beautiful story left incomplete
Ooh, how he knocked me off my feet

Sitting by my window pane
Thinking I might go insane
Why do you only shoot me halfway to the moon

And I can't get over that, over that
Baby after loving Jack
There's no going back, going back

Jack and Jill they went up that hill
To fetch a pail of water but there was a spill
And Jill came tumbling down, all alone
Yea it all came tumbling down, oh no

Pulled to the ground by gravity
Will it remain a mystery

Pixie Lott - Jack

I know, I know... lyrics etc. But I really like this song, even though it has pointless lyrics.

SaturdayDullness

2009-10-10T04:52:00.000-07:00

Saturday. Seems dull this week. Ugh, I have no Idea what to do. Don't feel like staying in for the whole day, and also don't feel like going out. Hate being Indecisive.

Or well, I 'was' invited to a course mates party like thing. But I had to decline that one for other reasons. Then again, I would have still been too lazy to go.

css is a b...

2009-10-08T02:56:00.000-07:00

Still remind myself of the fun dnd games we've had.

"Your party, will it blend?"

mm, good times. Makes me want another dnd session. Should probably poke Myffu, Erik or Robi. Robi said he would continue his game, but hasn't yet. Don't remember what the holdup was.

Oh and another thing. Usually when I got home, out of boredom I logged on wow. Now, I come home, and start building my website. How geeky is that?

So there was a party yesterday. For the people who are on their first year at uni. People made us do stuff. It was actually quite fun. If you count out the cold and people being depressed that the drink stands only accepted cash qq. I actually wasn't planning on going to that party because we're having our course one next thursday. But people made me reconsider. It was fun. More fun than I expected at some point.

CoN fanart!

2009-10-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

Great, having a test on wednesday. Programing fundamentals. YAY *sarcasm*. Anyway, I had a really fun weekend. Thursday we had a dorm party, which was pretty awesome. Still made it home with the last bus though. But somehow I couldn't pick myself up in the morning to go to the programing lesson, which kind of sucks.

Friday was quiet and saturday was an epic party with the Council. :> Shin also drew a new picture of The Council of Noobs.

It's AWESOME!

Hm, I should also make some entries into my "quote" book. I'm sure I can remember some funny moments from the party and also some screenshots I've done of gchat in WoW.

So after being inspired by Shin's picture and the panic the Webpage design teacher got me in I figured I should do a webpage about the Council!

Work in progress here.

And after I work on this a bit more I should look into the English CV that apparently didn't get sent as it should have. And then off to study programing fundamentals /cry.

Atrium

2009-09-25T00:08:00.000-07:00

I'm at the atrium, again. And this time I'm seeing Fox's double. Hihih. It's amazing how they are 'SO' alike and not even related... or are they? Dun dun duuuuuuun~

My programing lesson just ended and I only got 1.5 programs done out of 3 >_> I mean, yesterday I did all 3 <_<

Hot chocolate with peppermint is so tasty! n_n

I have my hot chocolate, feeling good, programing go~!

Will let you know how it went >_>

life has no meaning

2009-09-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

I find people who are depressed and say how life has no meaning annoying. One thing is to be depressed. The other is start whining about how life is not worth living. It's like looking for attention and pity. If you're unhappy with life, there's always something you can do to make it better again. I don't mind talking about those things and discussing them, but whining doesn't get you anywhere. This I realized when a new acquaintance started talking to me about how his new friend was whining the whole night to him. I don't know how it affected me so much to actually write about this on my blog though. But after saying this to my new 'friend' he hasn't come back talking to me. Wonder if I scared him off(hihi).

So about last week. Mäks and V were in town so we partied like there's no tomorrow. Shin also celebrated her birthday(18.09 friday). We went to Levikas for a afterparty and got to bed at about 5 am. Saturday we were at Fox's place and watched Year One. It was pretty awesome. And now I've downloaded other suggested movies with Michael Cera. Wonder if he's as good in those as he was in 'Year One.'

I'm at the schools Atrium at the moment and I swear, there's this one girl who never changes her outfit. She was wearing the same dress/accessories the whole last week. It looks kinda awesome but really...

There's also no plugs to recharge my laptop and I wanted to play something. Will go on a hunt for a plug soonish. After I've finished posting this.

Now I see Shins friends talking to a girl who has really-really long hair. Nice.

Noo~ The more 12 o'clock closes, the more people are here. That doesn't look too good for me. I need to move because I still have 2 hours to fill. So at the moment I'm thinking either programing, WoW, TF2 or HoN.

University 1.0

2009-09-09T00:42:00.000-07:00

So my first lectures at uni started on monday. Everything seems so cool. All the lecturers seem to be good. Then again I haven't seen them all yet. I also found great lectures and I should have more than enough points to finish the first semester. At the moment my schedule looks like this(resizing it to fit the blog makes it difficult to read). And it's pink because it would have gone well with the site.

But it all depends on if I want to take more lectures that I'm gonna go and listen with Shin. I doubt that though. I like how my schedule is simple and I have a gap so that I could go to the cafeteria and eat without rushing somewhere.

I already had my first lessons in web page page creation. So I'm trying to write this blog using html and using the 'compose' bit only to learn some commands.

Shin has her japanese lesson at the moment and after that we're both gonna go and listen to some psychology lecture. Wonder how that will turn out and if it's good enough that I would actually take the lesson.

K, my time is almost up, gonna go and look for Shin.

Summer gone~

2009-09-04T17:25:00.000-07:00

Shin is racist.

Shin: 'K, I'm gonna stop being racist'

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Actually, after watching a movie about racism with Shin, I feel I share her view.

*obviously all written above is a joke - psst, no it's not*

In other news: This is my last weekend of freedom. Uni starts on monday. Though then again, what I've heard, Uni isn't that bad. So I should stick with the new people I meet. Then again, I don't really want to socialize >_> I'll just stick with my brother and Shin at uni. I wonder how fed up they'll get. Can't believe summer is over. Now I actually have responsibilities.

At the moment me, Kristjan and Shin are at her place. We watched 'Secret window'(awesome), 'The Village'(meh), 'The Craft'(crap) and 'American history X'(awesome and sad). Ago, Meka and Rando came by as well. They had been shopping somethings for Rando. He has really changed. Now he has short hair and new clothes/shoes. Meka has done a pretty nice job with the makeover.

Hexos failed his trial in Unjit.

Well, I failed Unjit's trial... Something about not being socialy compatible with the guild or some bullshit like that. I honestly don't know what i did wrong.

Clueless person is clueless.

Getting tired now. And I need to get my lectures timetable done this weekend. That means I only have saturday to do it. And Sunday I'll probably be away visiting Mäks.

ID-card

2009-09-02T17:02:00.000-07:00

So I finally got my ID-card. About time actually, lost my old one ages ago. My brother also had a birthday so me and my second brother visited him and we had loads of fun. Thought my head really ached that day.

Then I also decided to watch Skins(that I had on my computer for weeks, just hadn't had the time and will to watch it). It's really awesome! At the moment I'm just thinking of watching the first season again, since I didn't remember a lot of it when I started watching the second season. Maxxie and Effy are probably my favorite characters. And in the third season Freddie was really cute as well <3

Also had dnd and horror dnd at Mythics place. The actual dnd was as usual, distrust between party members and Shoukin dying. Robi, Ilyen and Shin were caught by the thieves guild and me, Rando and Shoukin were forced to save them(thanks to some midget halfling). I got some pretty good exp for it, since I was *so* useful. I charmed people. I'm lawful evil in that game so I don't kill if it's unnecessary. I try to use other methods to be persuasive. Anyway, we saved them(sort of) but Shin ran off to tell on us. Bastard! And now... she's with the enemy! I wonder how that will eventually work out. I'm out of spells and me, Robi and Rando are in some arena sort of pit(ouh did I mention Ilyen died as well?). Her character was just crazy o.o So both her and Shoukin rerolled. And now Rando is making a OLOLOLHAXIMBA character for him >_>

The Horror dnd on the other hand was a few days before or after the actual dnd game, can't remember exactly. The GM of the first game was Mythic. He continued our previous horror dnd game. It eventually had huge tentacles coming from the road(I think I saw a porno like this once). And we got to raid the mall and get some hunting gear from some shop. Later we fell into a pit and found Mythic, an orb and a flute(he was playing it). We shot him - nothing happened, shot the orb - nothing happened. He was about to destroy the world! Oh NOES! And clever Kristjan was like: oh fuck it, I'll just shoot the flute. And he saved the day. We woke up and had no memory of what had happened. Now we only had Shins mom to worry about.

The second horror dnd was by Shin. Now *that* was confusing at some point. We had an epic party at Mythics summer home(apparently he was really rich) and a girl showed up at his doorstep. Then some evil spirit took over Mythic and he started killing us all. Shin killed herself in her own game, sheesh. But the only way how to solve the game was for Myffu to kill himself in some other dimension or something.

The weekend(29-30) was pretty quiet apart from sunday. Siku organized a farewell party. She's left for Scotland on wednesday. I hope Fox is holding on. Wonder if they'll try the long distance thing, even tho they both find it pointless. They're really cute together.

I also had my first school day. Some formal speeches etc. The next day was some Uni introducing lecture and the next important thing for me is on friday. Where I actually get *new* information about what I need to do. And starting next week(7th) my lectures start. No more staying up late and talking with friends and guildies :<

Tomorrow mom promised to go shopping with me! New clothes ftw!

FML

2009-08-21T18:01:00.000-07:00

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

Just what I need!

So I tried fixing people today. I almost had it. It's way easier to do something like that if the person really tries to understand what I'm saying and doesn't go on about her own thoughts and non changeable views. It was all going well until she finished talking to me with the same kind of sentence I told her she shouldn't use. But I think she got the idea. Maybe? Argh. We'll see. I hope everything will work out fine. People should just let go of some things that don't matter.

Putting that aside me and Shin did Naxx 10 together. It was great fun. Some people *did* cost me my Undying title tho. Damn! But I found that naxx 10 is really a brilliant way to grind for emblems! We should do it weekly, seriously.

I somehow miss raiding with some of the HardCore members. Unjit is great and all, but when I got invited, there was too many new faces and it's hard to fit in immediately. You have to be cautious on what you say and etc. In HardCore I was kind of one of the 'founders' as Vasquack called me(yes, I was surprised myself). But I got along with everyone and I knew every person almost individually. I'm trying to get to know every person by heart in Unjit as well(I sometimes still have to check whose alt who is).

Ugh, mkay, way too much WoW talk on my blog. Summer's almost over and it's the last week to actually do something. I'd loooove to party atm tbh. Last days I could be a bit tipsy and all. Shin, Fox, Siku and Kristjan.. wonder what they've been up to. I should check on that tomorrow. If I wake up of course - sleeping is 'so' gooooood~

ugh

2009-08-19T03:23:00.000-07:00

I don't get it. It 'has' happened before. Me wanting to stay home or be online instead of partying. Then again there has been times where I'm always out with friends. I just can't balance those two things out. And every time I have the mood to relax and stay home, people think there's something wrong with me. I'm fine! I wish Fox would understand this and not make a huge deal out of this(every time). It's pretty annoying. Tho it's kind of sweet that they care. But I can assure that I'll get over this at some point.

Parties can be tiresome eventually and they certainly aren't good for my wallet. I need to save up some money if I want to buy the things I want soon. A camera, DS, new iPod, iPhone and tickets to Englandland~ Then my life is going to be somewhat perfect. Technology wise.

Really would love it if Shin and Meka would join me for the epic trip to England :>

Hm, should also try and take what I can from the last few weeks of summer. But Fox isn't really replying to me on msn. Damn.

Clarkson

2009-08-18T05:23:00.000-07:00

Uni ranting

2009-08-18T01:56:00.000-07:00

Uni Starts on the 31st. Scary. I have all these weird ideas about it most of them concerning: 'WTF AM I GONNA DO AT UNI. I'm not uni material' and I'm also worried about the people there. Full of geeks and not the good kind. I'm still gonna try and give it my best. I suppose. Me and Shin are gonna hang around at Aatrium, the cafe. That's the only reason I'm really going there, really.

Me and Shin went to the town yesterday just to get new ID cards, finally. Mine's been missing for months but I just didn't feel like making a new one. Now since Shin needed one too I just tagged along and got myself a new one too. YAY!

Me and Shin are also gonna go and visit Mäks on thursday. Should also go and see what V is up to. But he's so far away >_>

Also got some sad news about the last few weeks of the summer. Sigh. At this point I wished summer would last forever. Would make things far more easier.

***

Frozen,
forgetful again,
the part where I
loose my head
the scene where I'm supposed to speak,

but instead,
I sit,
and listen again,
I'm stuck,
with these cards,

I guess,
leaping,
from this cliff in my thoughts,
I fly like,
like the stones in my heart,
drowning in doubt,
for what reason,

I sit,
so patiently,
drenched in,
what you want me to be
I can't escape,

I'm ready now, oh,
I'm ready now, oh,
I'm ready now,
come get me

fearless,
with cape in hand,
conquer,
what I need two to mend,
little girls get so broken.

I sit,
so patiently,
drenched in,
what you want me to be
I can't see no escape,

I'm ready now, oh,
I'm ready now, oh,
I'm ready now,
come get me

Movies?

2009-08-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

About a month ago we had a small get together with friends. We were staying at our summer apartment. Me and Kadri didn't sleep that night. Instead I walked her home in the morning and got on the trolley to get home myself. In the meanwhile we got talking about books and movies. She said that one of her all time favorites was Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. She gave me a brief description of the movies and it seemed interesting. I downloaded the movies immediately but just got to look at them yesterday and today.

I did have a different picture about the movie, that it wouldn't be the typical love story. Well it wasn't. But I thought it would have been a lot more different. It was still good. I'm not complaining. It was more based on their dialogues. And a lot of things that got me thinking myself.

Jesse: I know what you mean about wishing somebody wasn't there, though. It's just usually it's myself that I wish I could get away from. Seriously, think about this. I have never been anywhere that I haven't been. I've never had a kiss when I wasn't one of the kissers. Y'know, I've never, um, gone to the movies, when I wasn't there in the audience. I've never been out bowling, if I wasn't there, y'know making some stupid joke. I think that's why so many people hate themselves. Seriously, it's just they are sick to death of being around themselves.
Let's say that you and I were together all the time, then you'd start to hate a lot of my mannerisms. The way every time we would have people over, uh, I'd be insecure, and I'd get a little too drunk. Or, uh, the way I'd tell the same stupid pseudo-intellectual story again, and again. Y'see, I've heard all those stories. So of course I'm sick of myself. But being with you, uh, it's made me feel like I'm somebody else.

It's kind of true in a way. For me at least. I also figured that that might have been a really good reason for some other desperate days I've had. The second episode 'Before Sunset' was a bit awkward I think. But they had a few meaningful ideas for me.

Celine: You can never replace anyone. What is lost, is lost.

LoF

2009-08-15T13:01:00.000-07:00

More pointless text incoming! Like I've said, I'm keeping this blog for myself to remind myself the things I've been through and done. Been staying up very late the past week. Since I had partied with friends a lot I got the mood to just stay home and be by myself. Well I still go out with them if something's going on because summer is almost over(qq).

Today I had dnd(or as people always correct me: LoF - Life of Faith). Erik really loves to fuck us over... It takes place in the real world in the future. A disease in Australia(which has been nuked to the ground by now), creating mutants/zombies etc... Only a few places in the world are clear of the disease and loads of places are dangerous. Our 'team' reminds me of SG1 from Stargate. We have Margot as our Medic, Alex is the computer geek, my brother is the engineer, Sven the military dude and I'm the tracker/diplomacy chick. We will also have Robi joining us and he'll be the rocket scientist. A great group. Until Erik got us all infected by the disease.. THE CHANGE - IT'S HAPPENING! And we only have one shot of some cure that would alleviate the disease for a while. Screwed? Why yes we are.

I kinda miss the other game tho. The Mort one that Erik is also the GM of. Also would love Robis dnd game. Mercuri~ <3

In other news... University starting soon. Scary I know. I also thought that since I'm studying for free anyway, there might be a chance I can get a tuition loan and maybe go traveling. Really want to visit England >_> and I want to take Shin and Meka with me~

The Beach

2009-08-11T18:53:00.001-07:00

So we went to the beach at night and had a picnic. Me, Shin, Fox, Sigrid, Xin and Kristjan. We had some laughs. I'd actually say that the beach much cooler at night than at the day time. I loved the swings they had! With a nice view and all! It was great fun. After that me and Shin walked home. Had a paranoia of 2 older men following us, but everything turned out alright. Got home safe. Started watching Pocahontas(A nother disney marathon!). SHE TALKS TO TREES... Would like to know what she was on >_>

Now we started watching The Lion King II cause apparently SOMEONE hasn't seen it *glares at Shin* But I don't mind, because Kiara is cool, well... all the lion cubs are cool, really <3

Dr. Horrible

2009-08-11T06:53:00.000-07:00

Awesome? Why yes it is.

House party!?

2009-08-10T15:10:00.000-07:00

Uh oh, had a party at Kaur's place. Music, drinks, people, drinks.

Drinking on an empty stomach does get you wasted fast! But I felt just fine. Watched South Park and such. I didn't really want to go to sleep so I stole the internets and kept myself awake till the first busses started moving. Got home and fell asleep a bit after that.

Would really love to visit England. Vanthus told me how much fun they had had at their guild meeting. Partying of course. Also saw pictures of their trip.

Now I just finished downloading the Dr Horrible ost and will probably be listening to it the whole night. Then again I probably need to listen Arctic monkeys at some point <3

Bored?

2009-08-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

7 hours of sleep yay! Wish I had woken up 10 minutes earlier tho. Also I felt like trying to draw again over a while. Already have my tablet connected to my macbook. I remember promising to draw something with it /sigh. The point is I can't really draw, I can only cheat my skill xP

3.2 is also out and druids have pretty fur now:

***

I felt it
The wire touched my neck and
Then someone pulled it tighter
I never saw it coming
I started to black out and
Then someone said good morning
I took it as a warning
I should have seen it coming
So now I'll take a chance on
This thing we may have started
Intentional or not I
Dont think we saw it coming
It's all adding up to something
That as of some involvement
That as for our commitment
I think I see it coming
If we step out of that limb

My heart beat, beats me senselessly
Whys everything got to be so intense with me
Im trying to handle all this unpredictability
In all probability

It's a long shot but I say why not
If I say forget it I know that I'll regret it
It's a long shot just to beat these odds
The chance is we won't make it
But I know if I don't take it
There's no chance
Cause you're the best I got
So take the long shot

Oh I waited for fact to come of fiction
And you fit my description
I never saw you coming
But we'll make it even though

BEWARE OF THE MIGHTY

2009-08-08T02:24:00.000-07:00

Uh oh... Was at Sigrids place yesterday. We watched Dr. Horrible, The haunting in connecticut, airplain and Dracula dead and loving it. One part of me watched the movie and the other stayed on the internet. I know, I know, that's kinda unfair against my friends. But it wasn't like I didn't notice what they were doing/talking. K, I might have missed somethings but everyone know's that happens >_> That's just me~

Later on we played a few board games. I was the banker in monopoly cause I didn't feel like playing. Shin totally pwnd that game. Ihihi. We were up until the morning and got home with one of the first buses. Now I'm just waiting for people to come online and talk to me. Have had loads of fun with chatting with friends on msn tbh.

5 hours of sleep today, not bad. Wonder if people are planning to do something today as well. Fox told us to try and sleep first and *then* see what to do. Also found some new music(to me) since I got really bored of all the music I already had. Arctic Monkeys. Also listening to Kate Nash again. Guess I just can't keep myself from the british accent. Is that sad?

what?

2009-07-28T15:55:00.000-07:00

Had my brothers bday which was epic~. Shin and me were hammered 10 minutes into the party. Or well.. so were all the other guests. A really good way to start a party.

Been up till 5-6 am the last few days yet I still get enough hours of sleep. And I know what keeps me up till that late at night. Has been loads of fun. I'd probably be playing even now if there wasn't maintenance for the 3.2 patch. So I guess me being available to write at the moment is a good thing. Gives me a chance to update the blog so it could carry out the purpose I made it for.

Shin got married. Now I shall be calling her Elise Golenkova. YES SHIN! KEEL ME! Ihihih~ (totally worth it)

Now, what other events have I had. Aah training... 3 hours a day when I go to bed early in the morning.. Not that bad actually.

Still can't believe I got into Uni. Am gonna be stalking my brother in that school! HA! Shin said she'd join me with this noble quest. Wonder how Fox is doing with his entrance things and I should start checking when the first day of school is :o *dance*

And the last few days have been awesome as well.

And also all polar bears are left handed.

World of Warcraft

2009-07-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

I've played wow since 2007 summer. That's about 2 years now. And during that period I've made quite a few friends. But some of them don't play anymore, sadly. Maybe one day they will pick up the hobby again though.

I miss having Omnislash, Suncrown, Wilee, Ahenian, Timekiller and Lihius around.

Omni said that one of his lifetime goals was to come and visit the Estonian bunch with Lihius. We're still waiting!

And woah how we've had loads of laughs with Ahenian and Wilee on ts while also being on vent with the guild(raid) <3

I still talk to all of these. But Suncrown and Timekiller are very rare to visit msn so when they do I try to make the best of it and exchange a few words. Miss you guys :<

Meh, thought about writing down all the names I've been in touch with but I realized that you can't have one without the other and the list of awesome people would have been too long. But I have to say HardCore(guild) was my first real raiding experience. But due to some events like summer and holidays the guild did not make it. I still loved the people we had in the guild. They made the guild what it was - awesome.

The notable ones~

Vasquack (the guild leader) - Paladin, Italian, he always acted like a leader and chose what was best for the guild

Diablus - Rogue, Italian, likes to mess with the guild leader ;P

Cesko - Mage, Italian, I know they all had some inside joke with: Rincar, why Cesko DEAD!? or smth like that.

Goff - Warrior rerolled a boomkin, great at pvp

Telum - Always the one with the fish

Snii - I will forever remember your voice on vent

Rincar - Priest, why's Cesko dead?

Jabolis - always dying at Kologarn

Mythran - IS IMBA

Sylune - has a priest. IF 25k HKs!

Rissleth - disappeared for 2 months :o

Tifeus - Mage

Grasschewer - Cuddly little bear!

Polimorph - tree aka vegetable

Enertia - 'In soviet Russia, we run away from Enertia' still at some point I was SO sure, Enertia was a girl.

Buel - a hunter who made videos of... ... the raid, no... no pron.

Sativah - call me~

And of course:

Tehila - Helped me a bit with my priest and still holds a dear spot. Army place got him though. DAMN MILITARY! Lost a great player.

Nesgawl - during OS 3D fight he would dc about a hundred times. Or well, he didn't really need the fight. He dc'd all day long. I really don't know how one can live with a connection like that.

Harok - Been raiding with him since TBC

Grimsky - Grimsky! <3

Hexos - My HERO! Malygos's raid: managed to wipe 15/20 members in 0.67 seconds.

Saevio - Was a new member in HardCore. But started to talk to him after the raids died. Funfunfun.

After all these memorable moments I was still forced by my own desires to change the guild though. Needed more raiding and chose to apply to Unjit. They seemed friendly and something I'd look from a guild.

Meanwhile

2009-07-23T02:25:00.001-07:00

Guess there could be worse days. A saturday and I'm all alone at home. Everybody's out of town in Viljandi. I didn't feel like going to Folk. Way too far and I don't like tents much. And of course I get a call from Fox saying to come to the epic party they were at just 2 minutes before my last bus left to the place they were.

I'm also very fed up with all the songs on my iPod. How sad is that. Wish I had money. So many things I'd want.

Meanwhile:

Aladdin <3

World of Warcraft has been most amusing. People from my guild think I have a fetish with Incest between brothers and sisters. They also think I'm girly, love pink and the Spice Girls. The guild leader once even threatened to kick me from the guild(but I'm 99.9% sure he was saying that jokingly).

read from bottom to top

really don't know what they were on about. I was just greeting him. Uh oh! Also, there are 2 really cute sounding british people in the guild <3

Regret?

2009-07-21T15:10:00.000-07:00

I feel regret. It's not like those minor regrets like 'I wish I had studied better when I was in high school'. I think it would have been all okay if I hadn't started dancing again. Why did I make that gap? I regret being a fool back then and I should have listened to my father. Then again, being away from it all has been good, too good even. So the only thing making this bad, is taking dancing up again. Sigh.

Stupid regret >_<

I've lost my desire to dance again cause of my past mistakes though I really missed the sport. Didn't think it would bring me thoughts like this though.

I don't regret having a 2 year gap

I regret not dancing with Erik now

Oh wow...

Don't really know how to explain. At the moment dancing makes me depressed.

In other news I think I'm starting to like Aladdin a lot. This far I've thought it wasn't as good as other disney animations we've watched. But now I beg to differ. I'm also planning to watch the other 2 Aladdin movies <3

University and plans

2009-07-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

I got into university and I'm so happy. Means I wont have to skip a year and waste my time. IT wasn't my first choice but I've really got used to the idea. I will also be going to an university where Shin, my brother, Fox and few others will be at so it should be fun. Can't wait for uni. But the summer is still long and a lot of things I want to do during that time as well. Visiting Finland is one of the priorities. Hope I can get people to come along with me.

I would also love to go to Scotland with Shin and Fox. But that's way too expensive :<

Today's the day when I'm gonna be at training 3 hours from every day for a week. >_<

So far I've watched Lion King(all 3 episodes), Hercules, Alladin, Lady and the Tramp, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid. And they are all really good

Movie time

2009-07-19T01:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday me, Elise, Sigrid, Kristjan and Kaur were at Fox's and Xin's place. We watched Braveheart until everyone was there so that we could start our main event for the evening - Disney Animations Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid.

My goal for the summer is to watch all the Disney cartoons, because I've never seen most of them. I just know the lore... a bit. And at the end of the summer I'll choose my favorite ones. Childish I know, but who says I want to grow up?

A lot of people(including me) fell a sleep when we were watching Ice Age III with a really bad quality but I'm not sure if the quality had anything to do with that. Maybe it was because it was 5 am.

Woke up at 0930 am. Sir Kristjan was the one to wake me. I was really tired and the waking process was really confusing. I *did* find my phone tho. I was about to catch the 10 am bus to home but Sigrid was pleasant and offered a ride home. <3

DnD was fun. We got to kill mutants and a great gear upgrade. It was raining horribly when I was coming home. Was soaked and now I hear thunder. This weather sucks - from best beach weather to the worst.