Sometimes I wonder if I'm the sophisticated type to actually write a thesis, defend it and then graduate. I keep thinking that I don't actually want a degree. Just many skills in the things I like. Is it asking for too much? Doing what I want with my life?
I guess I'm just scared. I loved defending my high school last art piece to all my teachers even if I was nervous as f***. But defending a high level thesis at the end of my third year does not sound like me. I know people keep telling me 'oh degree this, degree that' and a part of me wants to prove that I can do it. But a bigger part doesn't want to do it just cause I don't want to. Plus nowadays a bachelors degree is nothing and I don't feel that tempted to go for my masters.
When I was defending my art piece I felt like I created something beautiful and meaningful for me. It was something I put my heart into. But a thesis is just something I 'have' to do to graduate. So much text and graphs, it's all too technical. But that's what I should expect from IT, right?
I don't know what to think. I like 50% of the subjects. Php(tho I'm not that good at it, but I intend to improve), html, css, the graphics subjects like Computer graphics, Digital Media, Photography basics, Multimedia - they were all super awesome for me. And I want to continue with them. I want to have another go at photography cause I had so much fun with it. I just wish I had the means to try new stuff out. I want to do more with photoshop and I wouldn't mind trying Flash again. But I'd always feel guilty if I'd had to study for another theory subject at uni and I'm off doing the fun stuff for me.
So what is the thing I should try to please. Make people proud of me and then pursue my own dream? But what if it's too late then. Or just go at it right from the start? Which could mean not a great future cause I don't have the degree to put on my CV?
