Memories of the past

I think it's completely normal for a person to feel sad. I haven't really felt anything deep for months to be honest. So having to think about something sad for a change feels nice and human. I'm actually trying to get emotions out of myself with listening to the music that reminds me of the sad events in my life. Is that masochistic? I mean, I don't cut myself or anything but I do feel as if my heart has a spear stabbed through it.

What's so bad about feeling sad at times. It's an emotion. And I actually feel healthy for feeling sad again. Or feeling anything for a change. The past months I've been quite superficial with my emotions. I've been happy, but not really happy. I've been sad, but not really sad.

Cause I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're goin down for sure
Already lost a grip
Best abandon ship

But I feel I can still control it. I don't go on about it to others. They have their own problems so I keep my mouth and mind shut of those topics when interacting with people. I'm used to getting by these things alone anyway. It's just the way I am I suppose.